My second meeting with Rayan and Hanah opened my eyes to the married life in Saudi Arabia, and boy did I learn a lot. From the many stages of a relationship beginning with "formal dating," to the engagement, to the marriage itself, it seemed like everything was very specific.
In Saudi Arabia, people enter into relationships in one of two ways. In the first...say a boy is in the super market, he catches a pretty girl's eye, and she does all of the "smiling and blinking," as Rayan put it. Then they can exchange numbers and start talking on the phone. Eventually, if the guy thinks the relationship is going somewhere, he will ask his mom to set up a meeting with the girl and her family so that they can all formally meet and get a feel of what the relationship currently is and what both parties want it to be.
Another option (and what Rayan did) is that the male, secure with his job, house, furniture, and salary, could tell his mom, "I'm ready to be married." The mom will search for a woman for her son, and usually within a month she will tell the son about her findings. She will describe the potential bride-to-be to her son so that he can get a mental image, and if she sounds nice and if he is interested, then mom would set up a meeting with the girl and her parents.
The male would go over to the woman's house and meet her family. The meeting would only last for an hour or so, and it would consist of mostly small talk. After the man left, the woman could tell her mom, "No I didn't like him" or "I'd like to see where this relationship goes." If the former, the woman's mother would call the man's mother and tell her the news. If the latter, the man would again go to the woman's house and they would be able to begin seeing each other. The decision is all in the hands of the woman.
Rayan said that some men, if they really like the female, will follow up with a proposal the next day. WAIT, WHAT?!? This little fact completely blew my mind, but it actually happens!!!!
Rayan and Hanah continued dating for a year, but they made it very clear to me that at this stage in the relationship there was no physical contact...except for maybe holding hands. Once they were engaged and were taking their engagement pictures (with all their families too), they could touch in front of their families in the pictures WITH a ring on their hands. At this point, Hanah and her mom had exactly 3 months to plan a wedding.......
Before anyone in Saudi Arabia can get married, they must take a blood test and get the marriage approved by the government (via an official marriage certificate). If any diseases are found in their blood, the government says that the marriage cannot happen. I thought this was really interesting, so I asked Rayan and Hanah if people still got married even though it wasn't "approved" by the government. They said it was very rare but it could happen. Think about if they did that in America! People would freak!
The wedding cost them a huge chunk of cash because weddings are such a huge deal in Saudi Arabia. The women wear white dresses and very bright makeup, and the males wear a white robe to match their bride. About 300 guests attended their wedding, and Rayan said he saved up for 7 years to pay for all the wedding expenses.
This completely opened up my eyes to so many interesting Saudi social norms, and it made me even more excited to meet with them again! Who knows what we'll talk about.
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